Just want to share my thought this night. Wanna share my heart's feeling. what I feel. what inside my heart. sometime, talking to someone isn't enough, sometimes all you need is to write what you feel but is doesn't mean that you forget to tell Allah about all your feelings.
In my life, theres so many things that I want but I am not get it. It is true that I feel hurt. ..SO HURT but I know that Allah will give me the best. Quraan said in Al Baqarah 2: 216 ".... perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not." ya, I keep repeating this word wherenever I feel sad and down. I know that everything that Allah gave me is the best for me even though thats a thing that I don't like.
It has been 6 month since I broke up with my...my forbidden love. I call it forbidden relationship because he is not my husband yet. In Islam the only relationship that valid is marriage, you're my husband, and i'm you wife . But in this case, we are not married yet even though we were plan to get married but who are we to get angry or to not feeling unsatisfied when Allah does not give what I want.. indeed, this is the best for me..thank you Allah. I am sure that someday, I will get someone better to hold my hand to YOUR Jannah , to marry me because of Allah and accept me for who I am, not for who I was or what I will become.
All I can do and must do right now is, building up myself, be a better me and accept the thing that I can't change. everything will be fine insha Allah ..
Even though it was hurt to accept and to remember, but now, I feel better Alhamdulillah even though I still remember him everyday. How pathetic I am whenever I miss him but he seems dont miss me anymore. so I put all my pieces in Allah's hand, knowing that HE will give me someone better someday. There's so many things in my life that can make me happy instead of just thinking about him..my family, my friend, my ambition, my dreams... so why should I over thing something that can makes me sad right? so start from now, I must learn to forget him forever, start a new beginning and accept everything that will come to me...
dear Allah, thank you for everything... Alhamdulillah..
SUNDAH - 26/10 - 10.45 PM