Before I write this issue,I hope Allah will help me to practice what do I will write here.I think,I still a very young to discuss about this issue but because of this issue,I found much of people around me was broken.I hope He will help me to be the real muslimah,not ony the someone that can say something but didn’t do it.I am always remember that Allah was said at Quran
يأَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ لِمَ تَقُولُونَ مَا لاَ تَفْ
oh you who believe! Why do you say that which you do not do)
(As Saff, 61 :3)
Let us to find the faith…
If they busy to find a couple,
Let us busy to find god’s willing…
If they cry because frust after break up,
Let us cry because remember all of we sin to Him…
If they love the humanity,
Let us to love Allah,the our creator…
When we talking about love,what are you thinking in your mind?I am sure that much of you will give a smile.that’s true,who don’t like the love?in understanding much of people,love is the relation between man and women that cause much of blissful in their heart but do you know ,that is not the real meaning of the love.
Love in its real meaning is are some feeling from someone to something that demand someone to sacrifice their self to something that their love to.IN ISLAM,the true love is only the love that lean to the our creator,Allah Swt.
When we ask to any couple(that in love before married),even they know that the couple is forbidden in islam,they will say
“erm..he will marry me later,so there’s nothing if we are couple right now..”
“you not feel the blissful feeling of love right know.if you feel it,I am sure that you will do more than me”
“we don’t do anything bad…just the usually thing that any couple do,touch,kiss,hug…theres wrong?or you jealous?”
Theres are some example of answer that given by any couple that I have been asked.when we think about it,why are the couple very sure that their love will continue until they get married? Who can ensure that they will together forever?why are they always think that their love will everlasting into the heaven?who can ensure that?they are thinking like they don’t have Allah as an our observer.on our surrounding,we saw much of couple divorce after 4 or 5 years of marriage and when we ask,they will say that
“we don’t have any understanding anymore”
“I am so boring with her.she always…”
Why are much of couple is very blissful and like very understanding each other before thay get married divorce after they married?are the reason of them is true?thats only on their opinion because actually,the big reason that cause the marriage is broken is in love before get married.why I am said like that?let us to understand the explanation above.
In Quran,Allah Swt was said
الْخَبِيثَـتُ لِلْخَبِيثِينَ وَالْخَبِيثُونَ لِلْخَبِيثَـتِ وَالطَّيِّبَـتُ لِلطَّيِّبِينَ وَالطَّيِّبُونَ لِلْطَّيِّبَـتِ أُوْلَـئِكَ مُبَرَّءُونَ مِمَّا يَقُولُونَ لَهُم مَّغْفِرَةٌ وَرِزْقٌ كَرِي
(An Nur,24 : 26. Bad statements are for bad people and bad people for bad statements. Good statements are for good people and good people for good statements.
In sentence above,we can understand that the good women is for the good man and the god man is for the good women.so,why are we still worried if we don’t get the very good couple?if we want to get the very good couple,we must be the good women/man with improve our relation between Allah and human first,not with find the forbidden couple.
(وَخَلَقْنَاكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا ﴿٨
And (have We not) created you in pairs, (An Naba', 78 :8)
Glory to Allah, Who created in pairs all things that the earth produces, as well as their own (human) kind and (other) things of which they have no knowledge. (yasiin, 36 :36)
From the both sentences above,we can proof that anything in this world is have their own couple.the night is couple with daytime,black is couple with white and man is couple with women.although we are know about it,we can’t do anything to find our couple with we own way because we still have Allah as we creator,as we observer.In Islam,our purpose only can’t allow we to do something without lean to Him.
Allah was said in Quran,
قُلْ لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّواْ مِنْ أَبْصَـرِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُواْ فُرُوجَهُمْ ذلِكَ أَزْكَى لَهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ
(An Nur,24 : 30. Tell the believing men to lower their gaze, and protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.)
In this sentences,Allah was command man to take care about their eyesight from see anything that forbidden include to see the women who not their mahram(someone that we can marry) and compulsory tu us to take care about our passion.This command is not only given for man but also given for women.the continue sentences in the same surah,Allah was said
...وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَـتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَـرِهِنَّ
(An Nur,24 : 31. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze…)
Both of sentences above is present to us clearly that Allah forbid man and women who is not mahram to see each other without anything important but just for enjoyable purpose and to satisfied their passion only.the hard dalil from Him that forbid us from couple is.
وَلاَ تَقْرَبُواْ الزِّنَى إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاء سَبِيلاً﴿٣٢﴾
Nor come nigh to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils) (Al Israa,17 ; 32 )
When we see,Allah used the words wa laa taqrobuu(and don’t you close your self) not the words wa laa ta’maluu(and don’t you do) so,we can understand here that even we just near the adultery thing like couple,it was be illicit.For example,the distance from us to the hall is about 50 meter and when we walk in one stride to the hall,our distance now is 49.8 meter,theres is we said to draw near the hall.so,in love before get married is a something that illicit and hate by Allah Swt.
From Abu Hurairah,he said that Rasulullah Saw was said:
“Allah Swt was put the chance for the son of Adam about an adultery.theres not possible that they have done the adultery.the adultery of eye is showing,the adultery of tounge is the words that we said.the adultery of the heart is the needed for something and sex while the adultery of faraj is just follow or not followed”
Clearly,Rasullullah explain clearly to us obout the parts of an adulter.when we see someone who not our mahram,the adultery of eye is done.when we said something that sweet and not follow the rule of islam,the adultery of tounge is done.when we heard and feel the our lovers voices,the adultery of ear is done.when we touch the hand of our lover and walk together before get married,the adultery of hand and leg is done but the most dangerous is,when we thinking about her/him,the adultery of heart is done.the adultery of heart is the most dangerous because,sometimes we are not aware when the time we do that.there’s impossible if some love relation not included the eyesight,talking,hearing and feeling.clearly,we understand that in love before get married is forbidden and illicit but why some of us still do it?
For anyone who not do it anymore,don’t start youself to do that.there’s hard to leave the sin when you feel these enjoyable.don’t wait until you are going beyond a set limit and hard to you leave it anymore.for anyone that still in love or was start it recently,please leave it because there’s no advantage if you do something that hates by Allah Swt.there’s no advantage if you just find your blissful for this world only because we still have the another world that infinite.there’s only one way to allow the relation between man and women,that is the marriage.
For the loving couple that is very serious right now,remember that the more sweet your relation before you get married,you will find nothing in you relation after you get married.
Now,think it hardly,how to get a family that blissful and gat the willing from Allah Swt if it’s basic is full of the sin and not follow the rule that create by Him.maybe we think that something that we do is good in we opinion but actually,it is only the way from an evil to make we confused to choose the good way to do something in our life.there’s no wrong for man and women talking but with the important things only like to do the discussion and others but if there’s nothing important,better don’t do it because it can draw ourself near the adultery.
If you want to get the blissful in this world nad in the next world,you must make sure that everything that you do is lean to Allah Swt.in the cases to find the love and couple,always pray to Allah to get the best couple for you.
وَاسْتَعِينُواْ بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلاَةِ وَإِنَّهَا لَكَبِيرَةٌ إِلاَّ عَلَى الْخَاشِعِينَ ﴿٤٥﴾
(Al Baqarah,2 ; 45)
My beloved friend,please find you lover refers to their faith to Allah Swt,when you think that you fall in love to someone,find your decision refers to sign from Allah with pray Istikharah.
Don’t love someone just because of their status,beauty or anything but love you lovers just because of Allah Swt and because of their relation with Him because our life in this world will be end and we also have an everlasting world after we die.
Pray of Rasulullah Swt :
“Oh Allah,let me to be someone that love you,to love someone that love you and to love anything that can close mylove with you…”